all because of one beautiful, strong, BRAVE woman

May 24, 2012: Phone call at work from Bethany, we were matched.  TOTAL and complete shock, as we hadn't even began our home study process with them yet!  Baby in another state, baby is Native American so we need to not only learn the adoption laws in that state, but the laws regarding adoption of NA babies, which adds a bunch of things to the laws of the state - including the tribe being able to come in and stop the adoption.

June 2, 2012: Baby boy born.  Birth mother wants us to name him and has her social worker send us pictures via text.  We're excited, but reserved!  Plan is to have the baby go into an interim home, which is similar to foster care but it's a family that works for Bethany, not the state.  The baby would go there until the court process was over (at least 15 days after birth since this is a NA baby).

June 3, 2012: Baby's birth mom is released from the hospital.  Instead of placing the baby in interim care, she decides to take him home so he's not with "strangers".  My heart sinks.

June 7, 2012: Paper signing day, to get the court process going.  What a totally crazy day this was.  I was honestly in my bathrobe with shampoo in my hair for two straight hours while I was on the phone.  Here's why:

While in the shower, my phone rings.  B-man comes running back to the bathroom with it but I missed the call.  I waited to listen to the voice mail.  It's Carol, the director of WCS, asking me to call her back.  I called Josh at school to see if Carol had called him in the meantime.  She had.  We were matched with a birth mom.

Two babies.  OMG.

We decided to go ahead and pursue both babies and if we end up with two, so be it.  Worry about cost later.

I called Carol to let her know I heard the news and let her know what we decided about both babies.  I also told her that the papers hadn't been signed on baby #1 yet and we didn't know what was going to happen.

While on the phone with her, the social worker from Bethany left a message.  Birth mom, when called to see if she was ready to sign papers, couldn't do it.  She needed more time.  She was going to have a NA ceremony of clarity over the weekend.  I tell her about baby #2 and she's so excited for us.

I called WCS back to let them know that the birth mom for baby #1 isn't ready to sign yet.

Then I get back in the shower, two hours later, to re-wash my hair. :)

June 9, 2012: We meet birth mom and birth dad for baby #2, along with Carol, for lunch.  I was so nervous I thought I would puke.  We brought birth mom a cute little bag full of pampering lotions and soaks and stuff.  Birth mom is soooo quiet.  Very hard to get conversation out of.  She only had one question for us: What church did we go to?  She was very pretty, very likable, just very quiet!  Birth dad was more outgoing.  Both of them have very awesome personal goals in life (which I won't post here - it's a little too personal to be posting about people that don't even know I blog) and chose us because we are teachers and would have a big brother for this little boy.  Another boy!!  Baby boy is due in just one month - July 9.  I was so worried about B having a restaurant-noise meltdown, so I came prepared!  Lots of new little surprises to keep him busy at the table.  Come to find out later - that really impressed the birth mom. :)

June 18, 2012: After birth mom #1 wouldn't return phone calls to her social worker, she finally called her to say she officially decided to parent.  We knew that in our guts, and really, while we were incredibly disappointed, the blow wasn't as bad because we have baby #2 to look forward to.

June 30, 2012: Meet Carol, birth mom, birth dad, and birth mom's dad for breakfast!  Birth mom's dad is super nice.  Immediately likable.  Breakfast conversation was much more at ease than our first lunch, which was a relief!  And the cherry on top: they gave us not one, but EIGHTEEN of this little guy's ultrasound pictures! Yes, I cried.

July 1, 2012: We are on vacation at my mom and dad's house.  My sister and her family are there, as are my aunt and uncle.  Perfect timing for a baby to arrive to meet everyone, right?  Baby didn't get that memo.

July 6, 2012: Head to my grandma's house.  We are staying there overnight before we head into Yellowstone for a few days.  Freaking out, because Yellowstone doesn't have cell service.  We subscribed to On Star so we had a phone of some sort in case baby came, but it wasn't working properly.  So we were wondering what to do.  We went to visit my BFF from college that night; she happened to be in town.  We haven't seen her in 8 years, since our wedding!  We were on our way out to her house when I get this text from Carol:  "Yikes! She is in the hospital.  Doctor is checking her.  I will be in touch soon!!!"  Of course, friend's house is in the country and doesn't have great service.  On the way back into town, frantic phone calls between us, my mom and sister, and Carol.  This is it!   Baby is on his way!

July 7, 2012: SOOO tired this morning - no sleep was had.  Got a text from our director at 5:12 am: "7 lbs 10 oz and healthy.  Born at 3:56! Talk to you soon!" So worried now that it's "real" - what if they change their minds, too?  Could I handle losing two babies?  Director calls about 8:00 and says to come on down!  We tell B that the baby has been born but we still have to wait a bit to see if we get to bring him home.  But that we need to go to the hospital, and that means we can't go to Yellowstone.  The poor kid cried.  And that made me cry (because crying every day for the past month hadn't been enough...).  He's been looking forward to this trip for a year!  I promised we'd go another time.  We get on the road - it's the longest 5 hour drive of my life, especially since we have to stop at every rest area because both Josh's and my nerves are making our bodies to into overdrive...  We drop B off with Josh's parents, who met us, and we head to the hospital.  Birth mom's dad met us at the door and brought us to the room.  I got to hold him first.  OMGoodness, what a beauty.  I'm not joking when I say he was born absolutely PERFECT.  Everything was perfect.  And his hair - oh, the hair!  It's long and lots of it.  He's not going to make it 13 months before his first hair cut like B did!  We spend a few hours at the hospital, but it's awkward because we are in birth mom's room the whole time.  When we saw B that evening, his first words to me were, "Hey mom!  Know anything yet? Do we get the baby?"  Melted my heart.  I told him we still have to wait a bit.

July 8, 2012: We spent only about an hour and a half at the hospital today.  Can't get over how beautiful this little boy is!  We wanted to give the birth mom and birth dad some space, (birth dad was at the hospital the whole entire time! He took great care of this baby.) but at the same time, I wanted to hold this baby to my chest and never let go - still terrified they will change their minds.  Director said birth mom and baby will be released in the morning, and papers to terminate parental rights would happen then, so we should not come to the hospital until she calls us to let us know everything is done and we can come pick up this baby!

July 9, 2012:  Another sleepless night.  And my stomach has so many knots, I can't stand up straight.  B is doing so great - totally on his best behavior, and wanting us to play so we could pass the time.  Director thought it might be around 10:00 when she called us.  I remember at one point, I looked at the clock and it said 8:24.  I looked again later, thinking it must be about 9:00, and it said 8:28.  Oy.  10:00 came and went.  More knots, but I was so hoping that the fact that we hadn't been called early was a good sign, because that would most likely mean it was a "they won't sign" call.  FINALLY, at 10:23, got this text: "Papers signed and she has left.  Please come."  I instantly burst into tears. Again.  I hooped and hollered.  I told B to go get on his new shirt that says BIG BROTHER, because we got the baby.  His eyes got huge and he cheered. He went running, shouting "DADDY! WE GOT THE BABY!"  I shouted for Josh to get the car seat - let's GO!  And we headed in to get our new son.  I texted my sister and told her to call my parents.  I texted our other siblings.  Josh called his mom.  (side note: best story I've heard so far is from my sister-in-law, who was in the waiting room at the chiropractor when she got the text that papers were signed - Josh's brother was in the room getting worked on and Beth shouted from the lobby that papers were signed!!!! Everyone looked at her weird. LOL!)  We pull into the hospital lot, had to literally drag B out of the truck because he was soooo overwhelmed and carry him in, walk into the hospital, walk to the room, and find our SON waiting for us with Carol.  I was finally able to become incredibly excited.  I held that perfect being and smelled his baby smell.  I put on his new "little brother" onesie to match his big brother's shirt (that phrase still gets me, every time!!), we sign custody agreement papers, we get a family picture taken (with B standing behind me because he's still very overwhelmed), and walk out of the hospital.  We walked in as a family of 3 and left as a family of 4.  So surreal.

It's  been one amazing thing to watch my B-man transform from an only child to a big brother.  He is AMAZING, just like we thought.  *So far* there hasn't been that hard of a transition.  He is more than willing to hold little b, feed little b, pick out his clothing, put in his pacifier, all of those things.  To see him get right up next to little b and say, "Hey there, little buddy, whatcha doin'?" melts my heart.  It's been a long time coming. :)

We asked Carol how we got so lucky to get such a perfect baby and healthy birth parents... she said it was completely because we waited so long.  Prayers are answered, and good things come with time.  We knew that with the birth of B - it took forever to get pregnant but we waited so long and got the perfect child.  How crazy it is that we were chosen to be the parents to TWO perfect children.  The roller coaster this adoption process is, is not fun.  At all.  So many ups and downs and heartbreak and wondering... adoption is not for the faint of heart, for sure.

All of this happened to US because of one beautiful, strong, BRAVE woman.  One who chose adoption over any other option.  One who chose us because we are teachers and had a sibling for this little man.  One, who even through her friends making fun of her for her decision, stayed strong so that our dream could be achieved.  And it wasn't just her - it was one beautiful, strong, BRAVE man, too.  They made this decision together.  And for that, we will be eternally grateful.

As our family of 4.

a champ

Jr. Golf.

Tournament.

Two days long, 3 holes each day.  Intense, I know.

I wondered at first why only 3 holes a day.  And then I was assigned to keep score for children that are not mine.  Children that do not have a daddy to take them golfing every day.

3 holes was plenty.

PLENTY.

The little girl in my group quit yesterday after one hole.  I don't blame her.  I'd be tired too if I took about 134 strokes in that one hole.  It was a good thing for her that we didn't count whiffs. 

Scores in my group (just my group, since I didn't keep score for anyone else) after day 1:

Brecken: 20
Kid 1: 51
Kid 2: Quit after one hole.

Day two was better - the little girl made it two holes before quitting.

Brecken: 27
Kid 1: 35
Kid 2: 47 before she quit after the second hole.

Today finished with a picnic at the park and an awards ceremony.  There were trophies for the winners in each age group.  There weren't a TON of kids in the 5 year old boy category, but my little man came away with the biggest grin.  So proud of that kid.

Today was the last day of golf lessons.  Next week: Tournament!

Summer has started off in full swing!  Josh just got to start this week, but the B-man and I have 2 weeks under our belts already.  We've stayed plenty busy...  B and I babysat for some friends who still had school and needed a babysitter.  B was such a good helper.  The two kids were almost 3, and 4 months.  He played with the older one ALL.DAY.  Man, they played hard!  He got her snacks, got her drinks, kept her occupied... which was great since the baby was a bit fussy and needed lots of attention.  B is such a great kid.

We've been swimming several times (including a swim play date with his friend and her mom), golfing, (we played in the school district fun scramble and actually took 4 putts of B's!), had my parents here for Memorial Day weekend, cleared out and organized the nursery (for our homestudy for Bethany that was done), organized B's closet, been to Cheyenne, all sorts of fun stuff.

B started junior golf this week, too.  He could hardly contain his excitement yesterday morning while waiting to leave for his first lesson. 

I always think in the summertime that I'll update this blog more, since I'm home.  But then we get super busy doing projects and fun stuff, and I seem to never have the time. Ha!

the weekend

We had a good Memorial Day weekend!  My parents came down and Josh and my dad played in Josh's football golf tournament.  My mom, the B-man and I were really busy.  My mom helped me in our yard, then helped me organize our baby's room, which has been a catch-all for everything B has outgrown.  You could hardly walk in there, but now it's a beautiful nursery.  We needed to get it done - we have our home inspection coming up this weekend.  I was very glad for the help my mom offered.  We threw away a bunch of stuff, got things set up, clothes into new tubs by size, and things washed.  Thanks for the help, Mom!  Now we just need a dresser for in there and it will be ready for a little one to come home some day!

B-man helped every step of the way.  I love love love that he's such a helper.

Yesterday we just took it easy - it was cold, dark, and windy out so it was a day to snuggle in and read.

My parents left this morning and we've done the same thing - snuggle in.  It's so windy and cold out - not nice outside weather for sure!

Busy week coming up. B and I are done with school - officially on summer vacation!!  Josh has 2 weeks left still. I'm babysitting a couple cuties while their mom and dad have school still - their babysitter bailed and left them without childcare for the last month or more of school.  I'm done with school now, so I'm taking the kids this week until their grandma can come to the rescue next week.  B and I are excited!  Tomorrow is our anniversary, and we'll be spending it very romantically - eating dinner at the school while a football coach gets me certified in infant CPR.  haha!  I need to get certified for our new adoption agency.  Josh is of course certified already, being an EMT and all, but I need to get mine done.  Then we have our home inspection on Saturday.

And I thought summer was supposed to slow down. :)

released

We had B's IEP meeting this afternoon.  He is officially released from it and his services.  SPD is not IEP-able, so he was on his IEP for speech so he could receive services for sensory.  He passed the speech eval with flying colors, so he has been released.  We'll work on getting his 504 plan written with the elementary school principal. (for those not familiar with the education jargon, a 504 plan is used for students that may need accommodations and interventions, but don't have a learning disability.  So a student without a learning disability but is in a wheelchair, for example, could have a 504 plan because they would still need some accommodations.  Same with SPD.  It's not a learning disability, but he could still need certain accommodations for noise and sensory overload and whatnot.)

I'll come back later and add his scores in, but he tested above average in everything, and 99th percentile for most, including fine motor, gross motor, language, and emotional stuff.  In fact, in expressive communication, he is at the level of a 7 year, 11 month old!

Way to go, my superstar!!

kindergarten round-up

Hard to believe my boy is going to kindergarten.  Makes this mama sad, but I suppose he has to go...

Round-up was today.  B told us we were not allowed to talk about it, because he didn't want to go today.  So I had a good idea of how the day was going to go...

Here's a cast of characters in this post, for those of you not familiar with who I'm talking about! 

Mrs. Uhling - the K teacher.  She's amazing.  She won a national math teaching award last year and got to meet President Obama to receive it.  Her husband is Josh's principal.  Her daughter just graduated with an elementary ed degree and was voted the outstanding female graduate from the whole university.  Pretty impressive.  We go out to dinner with them a few times a month, so Mrs. Uhling and Brecken know each other very well.

Mrs. McAtee - the math facilitator for our district.   Knows us well - and has a desk at Central Office right across from Josh.  She was impressed one day while B was at work with Josh that B was writing down jersey numbers - 44, 24, 13, etc.  Not just any old numbers - jersey numbers of Josh's basketball players. LOL!

The OT is Chuck.  He of course is known as Mr. Mollica to the kids, but in this email I call him Chuck.  

Donna is B's current OT.

And you may not remember, but he rubs his hand in my hair and twists it every time he gets tired or overwhelmed.  It's a soothing thing for him.

Alright, here we go:

Started off disastrous.

I was a few minutes late because I had to finish a class and drive the 20 miles from work.  I walked in and Josh and B were with the nurse already.  Brecken was buried so far into Josh's shoulder that I couldn't hardly see his face.  He immediately reached for me and would not say a word.  He wouldn't even wear the name tag they had for him.  His face was so red and hot I thought he had a fever. The nurse knows us (she works at all the schools in the district) and knows Brecken so she was expecting this.  She was very good - very calm, very nice, and didn't push - just showed us where to go next.

Next was the kindergarten readiness test with Mrs. Uhling, who he knows very well.  The math faciliator was also there to do math things.  B also knows Mrs. McAtee, he talks to her at Central Office a lot.  CRAWLED up me to get away from both of them. Literally.  Wouldn't answer a single thing.  Wouldn't point to his favorite color, wouldn't find a circle, wouldn't even LOOK at Mrs. Uhling or Mrs. McAtee.  Even though his friend from preschool was in there doing it.  I'm so grateful those two ladies know B and know he's not being a brat, but that he just could NOT do it. 

So we move on to OT.  The OT was busy with the girl that was in the room with us for math and Mrs. Uhling, so Mrs. McAtee decided to try again with B since nobody else was in her room.  They were in there a LONG time.  I stood and waited for OT.  The OT knows me, he works in our school too.  So we talked about the SPD and what we see in B, what he does, what's going to be a struggle (like lunch - oh, how I dread lunch next year), asked about motor skills and I said he's probably the most athletic 5 year old I've met, and that gross motor was great, but that he works with Donna on fine motor, along with the other sensory stuff. He said he has a weighted vest we can try if the transition to K is hard since he sleeps with a weighted blanket.  

He told me about a FANTASTIC sounding program that he does for sensory kids before school every morning.  He calls it sensory school, and those sensory kids can come in at 7:45 and do what they feel they need to do - swing, spin chairs, balance balls, sensory tables for tactile things, he can brush them, etc.  They do that for 15 minutes and then they have 10 minutes of yoga.  I might have gotten tears in my eyes when he said that - that sounds like EXACTLY what B-man needs every morning.  I'm so grateful that that's an option.

After we talked about that, Mrs. McAtee came in with a thumbs up, followed by B and Josh.  He managed to get all his math and readiness stuff done!  HOORAY!!!!! Didn't miss a single question. AND, he saw stuff in the OT room that Donna has and felt better - he balanced on a ball with Chuck (the OT), showed off his running, stopping, jumping, catching, drawing, etc.  After every "test", he'd run back to me and rub his hands in my hair, and then he'd go do the next thing.  He wouldn't TALK to Chuck at all, but he did what he asked! YAY!

By that time, we had been there an hour, when most roundups take 30 minutes, and he still hadn't gotten to the hearing and sight test lady.  I had to get back to work (I was only able to go because it was during my plan/lunch) so I had to leave Josh there with B. Josh told me tonight what a super-star B was when he finally opened up... got all the math questions right, drew himself correctly, drew a tree (with an apple in it!), drew a sun by drawing the yellow circle and THEN filling it in, which is apparently a pretty high skill for a preschooler, and drew stars, which apparently is a skill taught late in kindergarten.  Who knew?!  Our kid is brilliant. :)

Super excited about sensory school!!

band-aids. again.

The B-man has not only decided that band-aids are OK, but that now his finger hurts if he DOESN'T have one on.  We bought the box of 30 on Saturday morning.  Today is Tuesday.  We have gone through 11 band-aids.

band-aids

Brecken got a cut today that was bleeding.  Yes, it was the most painful thing ever to him.  But today, he ASKED for a band-aid.  Yes, you read that right.  I almost fell over.  He said he figured out while at the doctor this past week that band-aids weren't that bad after all. 

Another HUGE sensory obstacle, overcome!

The bad news was, since he wouldn't wear band-aids before, we had none in the house.  So we made a trip down to the dollar store and he picked some out.  And he wore not one, but two today.

I kind of feel like a "normal" (I hate that word, but you know what I mean) mother, with a kid who is instantly healed of all ailments with a band-aid.

OK, maybe not ALL ailments, but heck - a cut on a finger, a band-aid to make it better, our world is now different!

shots = horrible

Kindergarten shots.  OMG.  Thank goodness it's over and we don't have to do it again until 6th grade.

Dr appointments in general with a sensory kid are miserable.  B had his headphones on from the minute we walked in the door.  He wouldn't let anyone weigh him (he's afraid of the scale).  He wouldn't let anyone see how tall he is.  Luckily my mom and dad have a medicine scale at their house so I weighed him when we were there for Easter.  36.5 pounds - 10th percentile, baby!  The highest he's been since he was born!!!  And you can FORGET about listening to his heart - at one point he was so strong that he was able to push Josh's arm away while Josh was helping hold him down in my lap.  But all that made him sob so hard that he didn't notice the dr. listening on B's back to his heart. :)  No way Jose to the pulse ox machine, and no way was he going to take off his headphones to look in the ears.

There's a reason our appointments always take a full hour.

And then came the shots.  OH MY GOODNESS.  I had him chest to chest on my lap and Josh was holding down the poor kid too - and the scream that came out of that child's mouth when whatever went into his left arm hit - I flinched, it was so loud.  I felt soooo bad for the doctor because his head was right there too.  The nurse did a shot in one arm and then she and the dr. team tagged the next two so they happened at the same time.  Hysterical child. HYSTERICAL.  And then they put on bandaids, which hurt my B-man, and I didn't think to tell them that until he had already ripped them off and thrown them on the floor.  That's how mad he was.

One slurpee and a lay down on a pillow on the couch later, he was much better.  So much better, in fact, that we went to the park after dinner.  He caught a ball and landed on his right arm, and that's when he asked, "Mom, did I get two shots?"  Apparently that left arm one hurt so bad it made him forget about the other two, as he was quite shocked when I told him he had three!

But for real. I'm glad that's done.

a couple firsts

We hope everyone had a great Easter! We headed up to my mom and dad's house for the holiday and a few days afterwards, as we were on Spring Break this past week. We had a fantastic time. We had a couple firsts while we were there... B was able to go to the store and pick out a new outfit, AND he wore it to church on Easter Sunday! Yay, B-man!

His other first was bowling! He had never been bowling before and he had a total blast! He was able to get that 7 pound ball up off the rack and onto the floor and push it down the lane and did an awesome job. He had bumpers up, of course, but he still beat my mom and myself both during the 2nd game!

dual enrolled

We put in our initial application for another agency today. We figured having two agencies out there with our name was better than one. So we did it. The initial upfront fees are much more, but the placement fee is much lower, so it all evens out in the end and the final price for both places are very similar. So we did it. The initial application was online, so depending on how quickly we get the full application, and get the home study completed, we'll be set to go. (They wouldn't take our home study from WCS, even though we just renewed it - apparently the new agency does it differently so we have to start over. :( )

Crossing fingers that maybe this agency will move a little faster...

best concert ever

Remember this from last year?

Tonight was the night of the spring concert. A couple weeks ago, Brecken asked if we could buy new pants for his concert. Ones that weren't sweat pants.

Um, what?

And asked if he could wear a new shirt that he bought from our trip to state basketball.

Um, what?

And his Nikes, WITH SOCKS.

Um, what?

He was so excited for the concert tonight. (he was last year, too... but his brain couldn't handle all the stimuli and we had a meltdown.)

He got home from school, took off his basketball shorts and t-shirt that is too small for him, and put on his concert clothes. A little early, since we didn't have to leave for an hour and a half, but I didn't say anything. I crossed my fingers that he didn't spill pizza sauce all over the shirt so that we didn't have to deal with finding another shirt.

Then I crossed my fingers that we'd make it out the door in the new clothes.

Then I crossed my fingers that he'd go backstage. And my heart was pounding... we had to stay out in the lobby until the teachers called the kids back. The noise grew more and more... and I could feel my B-man shutting down by the second... I tried to tell him jokes to keep his mind off things and make him laugh, while at the same time in my head I was shouting "COME GET THESE KIDS BEFORE MY KID CAN'T HANDLE THE NOISE ANYMORE!" :)

Finally, they called the kids back. No meltdown from noise. Hip, hip, hooray! He clung to my hand, and kind of reluctantly let go, but he did let go and gave me a "Bye, Mommy!"

Then I crossed my fingers that he'd make it on stage.

Josh and I could see little feet under the curtain when it was time for the concert to start and I gave a big sigh of relief to see his bright yellow on his black Nikes cross by.

WHAT A CONCERT! He sang with gusto. He did all his actions, and was the best stick tapper up there. I may or may not have shed a tear or two... or 10, or 50...

SO PROUD of my little man. What a long way he's come in one year.

It truly was the best concert ever.

irish

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

imagination

Brecken's imagination is incredible. And I love seeing what he comes up with and what he has absorbed by observing things that go on - I didn't have any idea he paid that close of attention until he started doing what he does!

His latest thing is basketball games in the house. Yesterday's included a written program with a roster on it - written by himself on a paper towel. He picked 4 other little boys in his preschool class to round out the roster with himself. Josh then had to announce the players and their numbers. When #22, Brecken, was announced (because 22 is the number on his jersey that he has, complete with matching basketball shorts), Brecken takes off his yellow long sleeved shirt that serves as his warm-up. (Because Josh's team also has yellow long sleeved warm-ups.) As he takes it off, he runs to the other part of the living room and pretends to high 5 the imaginary people that make his team that are already out on the "court".

The visiting team, when announced, just has numbers. Because, you know, B doesn't know the kids from the other team. :)

Then he throws the ball up in the air and every time, wins the tip off! :)

Yesterday, after he won 22-2, he went out to the kitchen and messed around for a while. Then he came out, and in his best announcer's voice, announced "If you want to visit our concession stand today, it looks like we are selling fruit snacks!)

Then, he drew numbers for prizes. At Josh's games, they do the same thing. Your number is on your program if you buy one, and if your number is called, you win baked goods. So yesterday, Josh won a cup full of popcorn, rice krispies, and fruit snacks. I won the same thing when my number was called. :)

I love watching him play. He's one amazing kid, for sure!

And on a side note, today I had a random day off school. I told Brecken that last week, thinking he'd be excited to stay home with me. Instead, I heard, "Oh man! Brian is going to be at Kacey's house on Monday! Can I please still go to Kacey's instead of stay home with you?" I didn't know if I should have hurt feelings or not. :) I am super glad he loves Kacey so much though, and I'm so glad he has a best buddy this year. So this morning, off he went. And I got to clean my closet by myself. :)

home study renewal

So yesterday we drove over to get our home study renewed. Our new lady, Pat, is the director of the domestic adoptions, so I like that she will know things.

Anyway, she was really nice and we only had to update a few little things. She told us straight out that this wouldn't take long an that we didn't need to drive all the way to see her, but I told her that we really wanted her to know who we were, instead of being just names on a list. She said that was smart of us, so I'm glad we made that decision.

As of now, there's about 20 people on the wait list, an there are 2 or 3 that have waited longer than us. Our book has been shown a lot, but most people lately have been choosing couples that don't have kids already. So we'll just wait until someone wants us that wants a big brother for their baby!

We talked more about us being able to pay for some medical expenses for a birth mom... we had said before that we'd take it on a case by case basis since we are not rich. She said most birth moms they have qualify for Title 19 (I think?) help but some don't, and can't afford the birth of the baby. I asked what happened if we agreed to help pay for that and the mom change her mind. She said then we don't pay a dime. We pay the agency, not the mom or the hospital, so that made me feel a bit better about maybe helping out with that. I don't WANT to, but if that opens us up to some more birth moms, then that's what we'll do. I got the feeling that if we gave them a number of what we could help with, that would open us up to being shown to ladies that need help. If we just said "case by case" or "no", we wouldn't even be shown to those people.

On the way home, it was dark, and I saw a shooting star. I'm taking that as a good omen.

love

My B-man always promises me that he will always tell me he loves me, even when he's 14. Tonight I asked if I could make a "movie" of him saying that, so I have proof for later. So we did. I'll try to figure out how to add this movie into this blog, but I do want to type out the conversation, too. (So when I put this blog into a book, I'll still have record of it. :) )

Me: Are you always going to love me?
B: I'm always going to love you.
Me: Always always?
B: Yes!
Me: And when you're 14, will you let me give you a hug in front of your friends?
B: Yes.
Me: And give you a kiss on the cheek?
B: Yes.
Me: Always?
B: Yes.
Me: Promise?
B: Yes!

He then had to make a movie of me promising the same stuff. Only, the conversation was a bit different:

B: Mom, are you always going to love me?
Me: I'm always going to love you.
B: Even when I'm 20?
Me: Even when you're 20, I'm going to love you.
B: Even if I make friends, you'll love me?
Me, trying not to laugh: Even if you make friends, buddy, I'm always going to love you.

Our hearts are full of love. :)

I've been terrible about blogging lately. I used to do 1-2 posts a week, and lately has slowed to 1-2 times a month. I feel like I have nothing new to blog about, yet we've been extremely busy. I think the busy has just been what we do every day, so it's nothing "new", and we've gotten so used to it that it's not exciting anymore. If that makes any sense.

Basketball season is about to wind down. Senior night is on Tuesday. I hate senior night. I hate saying goodbye to the seniors I've watched grow and learn and change for the past 4 years. Especially this year's seniors. I feel like I've gotten quite attached to them, even though I don't interact with them very often. I always hate their last home game, because I want them to be able to stay for forever. I know, however, that they need to move on and grow their wings even more in college... but I wish I could be selfish and keep them. :)

Brecken and I made rice krispy treats for the boys on Josh's team today. He decorated them with frosting smiley faces, too. He loves those boys even more than I do. I am so lucky that Josh's kids embrace B as "one of the team". They are so nice to him - always greeting him when he comes to practice, always looking out for him ("heads up, Brecken - ball coming!"), always have a smile or a high 5 for him... what great kids.

We're finally getting some snow today. It's been snowing for the past couple hours now. Hope it keeps up. As much as I complain about the snow, we haven't had any of any significance yet this year, and I fear a drought this summer!

change is a'comin'

Some of our teacher friends had a baby last week. Last Sunday at church, we pulled up and saw their car and I was sad for them - I knew how badly the mom wanted to have the baby that weekend - in fact, she had had a doctor's appointment the Friday before and she was really hoping they'd just keep her there. So I told her I was kind of sad to see her at church, and she said it was OK, because there was an end in sight - they were going to induce her that coming Wednesday. She said she was done working, and that she was going to keep her 2 year old home too, and spend time just the two of them, because it would never be that way again.

And then it hit me. Any night we have, could, in theory, be the last night we have as a family of 3. We might get a call one day to come get our baby, without warning, and *POOF*, our family of 3 is gone. Now, don't get me wrong, that's what we're hoping and praying for. But at the same time, it's going to be a huge adjustment to become a family of 4.

One one hand, I hope it does turn out that way, because I'm the sort that would dwell for weeks, knowing the day was coming, and turn it into a sob fest of "9 more days of just me and my B-man"... and not enjoy any of it. If it just happens, it's done and over with and I don't have time to dwell and be sad. (AND REALLY - It's what we're hoping and praying for - but any of you parents of more than one child know what I mean! Change can be hard. Especially since we've been a family of 3 for over 5 years now! But trust me when I say that yes, we are very, very excited.)

On the other hand, I really want to enjoy the last days of us being a family of 3. Quality time. Special time. Time we won't be able to go back to once our baby is here with us.

I guess we'll treat each day as our "last day" of being a family of 3. It will be special. It will be bonding. It will be memory making. And if our baby doesn't find us for another year, we'll have a year full of great times. As a family of 3.

locker room

We have quite the athlete in the family. Brecken will take a basketball and play a game in the house, all day long. It's fantastic. He's usually the Panthers, and he plays a different team every time. The other day, he was playing the Lions. He would run around the house dribbling, shooting, and shouting, "SCORE!"

Then he disappeared into the bathroom for about 5 minutes. We never heard a flush, so when he came out, Josh asked him what he was doing in there. The answer?

"That's my locker room and it was halftime."

Duh.

:)

i suck.

Here it is, January 20, 2012, and it's the first blog of the year. Wow. I suck at blogging this year.

In my defense, holy moly has time flown. We've been so busy. Basketball is in full swing. We had homecoming at my school and that was a nutso week. I left this past Sunday for our state music conference and got home Wednesday afternoon, just in time to have to go to school for P/T Conferences all evening. Repeat the next night. Last night - migraine city. Started right before bed. I went to sleep, as that usually helps a lot. Enter waking up because of pain. Take some meds. Fall asleep. Wake up again. Put pain patch on shoulder/neck as those muscles are on fire because of the migraine. Fall asleep. Rinse and repeat. All.night.long. Wake up with migraine still this morning. Thank goodness we didn't have school today!!

My boy and I got to snuggle all day today. I loved that. I missed him this week - from Sunday afternoon until this morning, I saw him for a total of 40 waking minutes. I don't like that! So today was a planned snuggle day anyway, and because I wasn't feeling well, it was really a snuggle day! We were lazy and loved every minute of it. I was feeling better by this afternoon finally, so he and I went to my school to watch some junior high girls basketball action. Then came home and ate pizza. Fun date night with my boy while Daddy was at an away game.

Up for tomorrow: We get to go see Daddy's game! Wahoo!

2011

What a year!

* We completed a home study for Wyoming Children's Society. That included 3 sets of interviews with a social worker, a home inspection, letters of reference, fingerprinting, background checks through the Wyoming Department of Criminal Investigations, several tears, and a lot of money.

* Josh and I had our 7th anniversary. It's been a wonderful 7 years!

* We took Brecken to his first pro baseball game, the Colorado Rockies!

* We went to Disney World with my whole family and had a fantastic time.

*Brecken started his last year of preschool; something that is very bittersweet to me!

*Brecken turned 5 years old. That was hard. That means he really is a big boy instead of a little boy.

* We took Brecken to his first UW football game, where the Cowboys played Nebraska.

*Josh landed himself a new position in our school district, as the District Science Facilitator. He really enjoys it!

* Josh's football team went to the playoffs for the first time in 4 years!

* We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving with Josh's family, something I've never done, but worked out very nicely since everyone was home!

* We had two new nieces born - Brenna Allie and Cameron Cate.

* Josh finished his principal endorsement! He worked so hard and we're very proud of him.

* We flew to Minnesota for Christmas at my sister's. We've never been there for Christmas and it was fun!

leaving on a jet plane

That song goes through my head every time we travel!

We had a fantastic Christmas. The whole family went to Minnesota to my sister's house. I wondered if we were going to make it... Wed the 21st is when we got out of school so we headed to the airport that night. Right in the middle of a storm. It took a good 5 hours to get to Denver but we made it. We stayed the night at a hotel since our plane left at 7:00 the next morning.

The next morning, it was still snowing. Hard. However, we still were able to get out of town after an hour delay so we could get de-iced for 45 minutes! That's some serious de-icing! We made it to Minneapolis and we're glad we did... we heard the Denver Airport was canceling flights after we left!

That afternoon, my sister took B and I to get Josh's present from B. B had put a lot of thought into it and bought him a purple shirt (school color) and a t-shirt to wear to basketball practice. I thought that was a very thoughtful gift!

My nephew Ryan had school on the 22nd still, so Brecken and my mom and I surprised him at the bus stop after school. He was so surprised!

That night we got to hang out as a family... my sister, my BIL, my nieces and nephew (including the new 8 week old that we got to meet for the first time!), my mom, my dad, and my grandma. I love that.

The 23rd was a fantastic day! My sister had found a babysitter to stay with the kids and we adults (and the baby) went out to breakfast at the wonderful Machine Shed restaurant. YUM-O. Afterwards, we had a whole day of adult shopping at the Mall of America! NO KIDS to haul around and have hollering "Can I have that?!" :) It was a great day and we had a lot of fun. That night, Brecken had asked if he could cook dinner for everyone, so he (we) did! I thought that was awesome that he requested to cook one of his favorite meals for everyone.

Christmas Eve was busy with cooking and baking and playing. And Kristen and David dealing with plumbing problems. The drains were all backing up due to a clog somewhere. It turned from the shower drain throwing up to it spilling over any time the water ran anywhere in the house... so the plumber was called and my dad stayed home during church to let them in so we could use the water when we got back. :) We got dressed up for church that afternoon and I almost cried when my boy wore brown cords and a red sweater. He looked so incredibly handsome. Granted, he took it off IMMEDIATELY when we got home, but he made it through church! We came home and had a delicious dinner of pork ribs. The kids got to open one present that night - Christmas jammies - before filling up a cup of milk, some treats, and reindeer food before we all went to bed.

Christmas was amazing! Santa brought B a Buzz Lightyear bed tent, a REAL digital camera, a Cars placemat, Cars 2 movie, Cars Wii game, and a Veggietales movie. We all got spoiled with lots of fantastic presents and everyone had a great time!

The 26th, Josh had to come home so he could get ready for a tournament his team went to. We went to the Mall of America that afternoon again and Josh rode the shuttle from the mall to the airport while the rest of us went to dinner for my dad's birthday. There was a huge fight that broke out right where we had JUST walked through... people arrested, 200 teens involved, the mall on lock down for a bit... I'm very glad we didn't know it was happening since we had JUST gotten upstairs for dinner!

The 27th, the kids stayed home again and my mom, my sister, my grandma, the baby, and I went to Stillwater for some shopping. What fun stores they had there! We went to an olive oil store... that's all they sell is olive oil! I brought Josh some garlic EVOO from that store. We also found a fantastic kitchen store, and some really fun boutiques. Great day again!

The 28th B and I flew home. I always hate saying goodbye to my nieces and nephew... I don't know when we'll see them again and they'll change so much while we're gone! :( Brecken had an amazing time playing with them.

Thanks for having us, Kristen! It was a super fun Christmas, that's for sure!

the house

My B-man made a gingerbread house at school this week. It looked good enough to eat. Which he did. AFTER I got to take pictures. :)

the tree

We didn't get to go to the mountains for a tree last year. Josh had basketball on Saturdays and the one Sunday we could have gone, he had a class out of town. I was so sad. We had to buy a tree instead. It just wan't the same and I was so hoping we would get to get back to the mountain this year.

And we made it! We got our annual B-with-daddy and B-with-mommy pictures (since there has only been one year when there was someone else with us, to take a family picture!) and had a fantastic time. The last time we went, B was three, and he cried the whole time. This year, he took the idea and ran with it. He insisted HE pick out the tree. (Though, that didn't quite happen.) He insisted HE be the line leader through the snow that was hip high on him in spots. He insisted on playing hard in it, despite the fact his mittens were wet and cold. He had a total blast.

And when we got it all decorated (again, he insisted HE put on all the ornaments, or at least point to a branch that may have been to high for him), I asked if he loved it. He said, "Not exactly." One more ornament and it was much better, ready to be loved for the month.

so behind

I'm so far behind in blogging. I'm so sorry. I have a lot to talk about but it seems like there's no time to write it down!

So I can come back to it later and remember, and so you know that yes, I have been busy, here's what I still need to tell you:

* Went to District Clinic with my kids for two days before Thanksgiving
* Came home to sleep in my bed for one night
* Went to Josh's parents' house for Thanksgiving.
* Everyone was home and we managed to find time to have Christmas then, too
* Went on a Black Friday middle of the night adventure with my MIL and one of my SIL's.
* Stayed a day late and came home yesterday so Josh could have a dr. appointment and I got to eat out for my birthday... a rare treat with basketball season in session now!
* Christmas programs are coming up!
* Josh's first games of the season are this weekend!

i'm sick and tired....

....of being sick and tired.

I've had a cold for two weeks now. They don't usually last this long, but I was thanking my lucky stars that it didn't happen sooner in the school year... It usually hits me much sooner than this!

And then I was cursing my stars that it happened when it did. I was in desperate need of finishing the teaching of my Christmas program songs so we can spend the next few weeks trying out for solos and polishing stuff up! And of course, I COMPLETELY lost my voice. Couldn't sing a single note for a good week.

And then my face hurt. Pretty bad. I was hoping it was just the cold working its way through my sinuses, but then one day, I started walking and that alone made my teeth feel like a hammer hitting them.

So a visit to the school nurse ensued. I told her my suspicions and she agreed: CALL THE DOCTOR.

I got in on Thursday afternoon this week and I was sooo excited to go. How sad is that? But I was feeling so awful. Diagnosis: My very first sinus infection ever. Lucky me.

I was hoping the antibiotics would work miracles and I'd feel better the next day, but no such luck. I did feel better yesterday, but all that meant was it didn't feel like my face was going to shatter into a million pieces.

I'm hoping I can get a great night's sleep tonight. Brecken was up bright and early this morning so that meant we all were too. And I felt terrible all morning. I did get a couple hour nap this afternoon though and I feel much better this evening. So hopefully I can get good sleep tonight, as I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon with some students for a trip to Cheyenne for a couple days for an honor choir and band clinic. I keep thinking back to 7 years ago, this SAME exact trip, and I came down with an allergic reaction to some antibiotic I was on, for something I can't even remember. But we got to Cheyenne on the bus and I broke out in head to toe hives so bad that someone asked how I had gotten so sunburned. I was hallucinating by the time we got home the next day. My teacher friend found a car and took me to Urgent Care where they diagnosed me with an allergy to sulfa drugs.

I'd rather not repeat that experience this year. :)

trucking along

We're trucking along here, at about a hundred miles an hour! Josh's football season is now over and it came just in time... I worked 12 hour days every day last week so it was nice to have Josh home because I'm not sure what we would have done with Brecken!

Monday was Halloween. I raced home from school and we took Brecken trick-or-treating downtown. Then we went home to scarf down some grilled cheese sandwhiches before heading to my school's Halloween Carnival. Brecken had a great time playing all the games! He did a great job. He didn't want to wear his costume, but he managed to do 40 minutes of the carnival without his headphones! He started to get hyper at the end of his time there, which for him, shows sensory stuff (that's how his body handles sensory overload), but he did a great job otherwise! He came home with lots of prizes, including a goldfish. He named him Goldie, but unfortunately, Goldie only lived until Thursday. I'm very glad I explained beforehand to Brecken that goldfish don't live a very long time, because it wasn't nearly as sad this time as when his beta died.

Josh and Brecken left the carnival early to come home and trick-or-treat. Brecken had written out a list of houses he wanted to go to, so of course, we had to fulfill the list!

Tuesday I had to take my kids to audition for all-state and didn't get home until 7:00, in the middle of a blizzard.

Wednesday and Thursday nights were parent-teacher conferences.

Friday, thankfully, was an early out for me! Hip, hip, hooray! We loaded up the car and went to see our new niece. She had turned a month old and we had yet to meet her. So we went to see them for the weekend. She's a beauty, that's for sure! Brecken had a great time playing with his cousin Bryell and holding baby Brenna. He's very proud of himself that he got Brenna to go to sleep. :)

Today I'm home with a sick little boy. We've been up with his sick since 6:00 and it's hard to believe it's only 8:00 now... seems we've been awake for many more hours!

love and marriage

"Mom, Sophie wants to marry me. So does Madison, though. And I have no idea which one to choose!" *big huge sigh*

tornado in my house

That's right, my house looks like a tornado went through it.

It's been worth it though... we've had some very fun and busy weekends lately!

A couple weekends ago we went to Lingle to bring my B-man to the pumpkin patch. We went through the corn maze, lauched tomatoes, played on the toy tractors, and came home with 95 pounds worth of pumpkin. Josh's mom and dad came with us and we had a great, great day! The weather was perfect and we had a fantastic time.

This past weekend, we went up North. Josh's last game of the regular season was a 6 hour drive (one way!) from here, but I didn't have school so B and I packed up and drove up there. On the way, we stopped and picked up my grandma and brought her with us. It was a big game... if we won, we'd make it to the playoffs for the first time in 4 years! And... WE WON! Brecken was so excited and was sure it sure it was because he wore his purple and gold sweatshirt and gold hat. :) We now have a playoff game this Friday. I will take a half day off and go too.

After the game, Josh got off the bus and we stayed the weekend with my grandma. It had been a long time since we've been there; it was long overdue! We had a great weekend there. We got our Christmas gift-giving list started at the Holiday Show there, we went to the museum to see the dinosaurs, walked to the park, and relaxed. It was fantastic!

With as busy as we've been, my house is a disaster..... I'm kind of looking forward to a weekend off to clean. How sick is that?!

noodles and butter

We had noodles and butter for dinner last night. Brecken got to choose. Here's why:

We had his annual IEP meeting after school yesterday. His teachers are so proud of him! He has gained a ton of confidence, he's not afraid to answer a question, give ideas, or play with kids. He's not not-finishing his work now, he's now getting it all done and does it quickly (but correctly), too. He's at his age level or ahead for academic skills. They said the only times he really prefers to play with the adults is at recess when he's wanting to play sports, and they are sure it's because the other kids don't have near the sport skills he does, so he doesn't want to play with them... they don't give him a challenge the teachers do. :) He is now one of the class leaders instead of a non-participant. SO glad to hear this.

He would test out of the speech part of his IEP because his goals have been met, but he can't receive OT services as a stand-alone Dx, so she's keeping him on speech with a little teeny goal. OT is going to keep working with him on fine motor skills like snapping and buttoning and holding his pencil right and hand strength, because it's kinda puny. His sensory goals have pretty much been met in the academic setting... they said he is doing EXCELLENT at being able to use the strategies the OT taught him to be able to better handle all the sensory stimuli. Home and other settings are another story but he's getting SO much better at learning how to handle them. (and really, I'd rather have him be able to hold it together at school than at home!) The things we are doing at home are just what we need to be doing and we'll continue to see improvement!

The OT told us something that we already knew but other people have trouble understanding. She said his SPD is something he will always have, it's not something you grow out of, you just learn how to handle it. Which he does... 9 times out of 10 now, he'll ask for his headphones instead of having a meltdown. So that's good! He will not "grow out of" this... he will always have it. It may come to where it isn't an issue anymore, because he has learned to deal with it completely, but he will still have it.

They are aware of his clothing issues and will work more on that... and they know about his bedtime stuff (and not sleeping in his room) and they said what we are doing is spot on and he'll get there eventually. It has to be done on his own time otherwise it won't happen because pushing him will make him regress. So that was nice to hear that we are doing things right. :) His OT did say that she uses him (without his name) in examples of what brushing can do for kids with SPD. I'm glad it works. :) He is NOT being brushed at school anymore and he's been fine. Yay! (Though she suggested we keep doing it at night and before new things, like we have been.) They assured me that we are right in being able to tell the difference between being naughty and having a sensory meltdown. There IS a difference and we are getting to be pros at knowing the difference. :) I kind of feel bad for others who don't see him all the time, because I'm sure it looks like he's the biggest brat. He's not, I promise. You can ask our OT if you don't believe me.

He will be re-tested in the spring to see what we need to do for the transition to Kindergarten.

So we told him we were very proud of him and let him pick dinner. So we had noodles and butter and sprinkle cheese. :)

(and just for comparison on how he was last year at this meeting... click here. It's quite a change!)

a sneak peek

Here is a sneak peek of our family photo shoot we did last weekend. Man, am I glad we went last weekend instead of this weekend... last weekend it was a beautiful 82 degrees. One week later, it was snowing. Hard. We lucked out on this one. :)

http://www.juststaceyj.com/2011/10/09/they-need-another/

Thank you, Stacey. They are beautiful. If your blog counter says a computer from here got on your blog 1000 times, its because I did. I can't stop staring at these. :)

snow

We had our first snow the other night.  *sigh*  The only one excited about it in our house is the B-man.  It is snowing huge fat flakes again today so he got out his snow pants, his new winter coat, his gloves, his hat and his snow boots (with thankfully fit still!) and he went out to play in it.  I think he ate more of it than he did play with it, though.  He can't wait until there is a bunch of dry snow (this snow is super wet!) so he can scoop it up in a bowl and eat it, which he has loved ever since when Amy babysat him and she introduced him to that snack.  :)

... and my heart swells

Last year at B's IEP meeting, they told us one of the big Sensory Disorder "aha" moments was when the kids tried different tastes and Brecken wouldn't even let them put anything on his plate.

Today, he told us that they tried a bunch of food at school today to see if it was sour or sweet or salty, AND they had to taste it with their eyes closed.

He tried them ALL. (and with his eyes closed, mind you!)

I sent his teacher a message on facebook, just to make sure, (because you know, kids have been known to remember things differently from time to time... haha!) and she replied with, "He absolutely did and we were all so excited - it was GREAT!" And then said they had so much fun today and he's having such a great year and is now one of the leaders in the class.

I'm SO PROUD OF HIM!!!! (and I won't lie, I got some happy tears in my eyes.)

He did NOT like:
Hot Tamales

Pickles

Lemons

Bitter Chocolate

But he LOVED:
salt

salty chips

pepper (this one surprised me!)

Way to go, my B-man!!!

five

We have a five year old.

I'm not sure how that happened.

I blinked, and he was no longer a baby, but a big boy.

And as he told me today, "See Mom? You didn't even cry about it."

We had a great weekend. We had a party for him yesterday. No family was available for a party this year, which was really odd. So we invited friends from school for the first time! We had a few kids running around, and his new babysitter, and a couple of our friends, and fun was had. This year, instead of a football cake, B-man wanted a basketball cake. Woo-hoo! I got to buy a new cake pan! :) (he had a football cake for his 1st, 3rd, and 4th birthdays!) He got a giant box of crayons, a coloring book, and a toy Lightning McQueen camera from his friend Sophie, a Lightning McQueen bowling set from some new friends (the dad is a new teacher at my school), a Play-Doh Cars set from his babysitter, and $10 from our friend and fellow coach and his wife. We had a football pinata filled with toys like green army men, plastic dinosaurs, plastic airplanes, etc. They all thought that was fun.

Today was about perfect. We woke up and B discovered his gift from Josh and I in the living room... a new Lightning McQueen bike! His 12" bike was getting too small, so he's now the proud owner of a new 16" one. He also got to open his cards he got in the mail... $5 from my mom and dad and $5 from Grandma Lou... put that together with what he got yesterday and the $5 he got from Josh's parents, the kid raked in $25 for his birthday! And said he's not spending it... he's saving it. For Disney World in 2014!)

After going out for breakfast, he got on his new bike and we headed to the park to play for a while. After he picked pizza for his birthday lunch, he and I played a couple games of Disney World Candy Land (from Aunt Kristen and Uncle David, which he also opened this morning!) while Daddy went to his football meeting. After the meeting though, we all got to go golfing! B was in total heaven. We played more Candy Land this evening before bed.

And a big day today in another sense... he wore jeans and a new t-shirt for exactly one minute AND let me take a picture! They came off after that one minute, but one minute is one minute longer than I have seen him wear denim since he was a baby, so I'm thrilled with that! :)

(I should note, we did get to celebrate with BOTH sets of his grandparents last weekend... we went out to dinner to Pizza Hut with them, where he received the spy plane from the new Cars 2 movie from my mom and dad, and a Cars 2 stunt set, a Cars 2 book, and a couple water guns from Josh's mom and dad. He loves them all! And can you tell he's a Cars fanatic??)

My baby said I didn't cry about him turning five, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to. He's come a long way in those five years and I couldn't be more in love.

the shoes

Brecken got some new shoes this weekend. We looked at three stores in Scottsbluff for just the right ones. He really wanted yellow and black ones, like his old shoes were. We looked and looked, and we found the perfect ones! He loved them from the start and I was really excited when he tried them on and he loved how they felt on him. I made him walk all over the store, try running, etc., just to make sure they were going to work for his senses. *phew* - he wanted them!

The shoe on the left is the one he had on in the picture I took on his 4th birthday. The shoe on the right is the new one. The one on the left is a size 9. The shoe on the left is a size 12. 3 shoe sizes in one year. Holy moly. I about fell over! (He has been wearing Crocs all summer, of course, so we didn't have a "real" shoe size for him!)

(These shoes are lined up at the back.... you can't tell, but they are.)

the first day

Today was the first day of school for all of us. (Josh and I went back last week, but kids didn't start until today. Same with B's preschool.) The day FLEW by!! I'm exhausted and can't believe how fast the day went. It was a good day though!

B had a great day at his first day too. Kacey said she cried when she dropped him off... I'm flattered that she loves my kid enough to cry!! He came home with all sorts of stories. It's in the afternoons this year, 12:00-3:15. They did fingerprints and looked at them under the magnifying glass, drew rainbows, read a story about a dog that went to school, played at recess, had snack... He was the only kid at Kacey's today though, I feel bad. :( The kid he played with last week started kindergarten today. B said he played with the dog a lot and they got to go see Kacey's horses, which he liked a LOT.

Hard to believe my baby started his last year of preschool. Even harder to think that he COULD have started kindergarten today instead, but we kept him back a year. I can't send a 4 year old to kindergarten, even if he does meet the cut off. But just looking at him, thinking he COULD HAVE started today, makes my heart beat a little faster. I'm glad we have one more year. ;)

the new lady

We started Brecken at a new daycare this year. The change between last year and this year has been total night and day. He has beat us out the door to get to Kacey's house in the mornings... I'm not going to lie, I totally love that! I'm so glad he feels comfortable at this house and has a good day. In fact, one day last week he got mad at me for picking him up too early! That hasn't happened since our beloved Amy lived here!

Kacey is an EMT with Josh and I secretly (or no so secretly) LOVE that. Not that anything would happen to my B-man while he was there, but gosh, you never know!!!

There aren't many kids at Kacey's... one little guy that B plays with that won't be there now because of kindergarten. He has a little sister, so hopefully the little sister will continue to go.

the day i cried in the middle of walmart

Today was the big day... we had to go to Riverton to pick up the half a beef we ordered, so we went to Walmart, too. We went back to the little boy's section, felt all the jeans, picked a few pairs B deemed "soft enough", and found the dressing room. Josh took him in and I waited outside, but I couldn't stand it anymore, so I knocked on the door to go in, too. And there he was... my baby... in jeans. I haven't seen him in jeans since he was 2 years old. I was so proud of him for even trying them on, and I figured he'd say they didn't feel good and we'd leave without any. Which would have been FINE. My amazement was fulfilled with him even trying them on. But, he liked a pair. I asked if he would wear them to school, and he said no. He said he would only wear them for his 5-year-old pictures. GREAT! I'm ecstatic with that; it's such a huge start! He did say the waist kinda bugged him (which, coming from elastic waist sweats and basketball shorts, it's gotta feel funny!) but he felt better when I assured him that if he wanted to, he could wear his shorts underneath the jeans. He nodded, said he liked them, and we bought two pairs of the kind he liked best.

That's when I cried.

This is such a big deal! I can't even tell you how proud of him I am. Like I said, I was excited that he just wanted to try them on, but for him to buy a pair.... it's like I was in a dream.

Whether or not he will actually wear them, I'm not sure. We're not going to make a big deal out of it, as he hates that kind of attention and he will backpedal. If he ends up freaking out and not wearing them, I'm ok with that. Like I said. He tried. And my heart is so full from that.

jeans

Brecken asked tonight if he could try on some jeans. I had to ask him to repeat the question, just so I could see if I heard correctly. And then I about fell out of my chair.

Of course, we don't own any jeans bigger than a 2T. So he'll have to wait until we go to a store. (which just happens to be tomorrow, we lucked out there!) I hope he still feels like it tomorrow! Even if they still hurt him, I'm TOTALLY stoked that he asked!!!

the last week

This is our last week of summer. It's always a really sad time. Once I get thrown into work, I'm fine... it's just that jump that I totally hate. I wish Josh and I both could be on permanent summer... I love the freedom of jumping in the car and going somewhere when we want to, sleeping in, staying up late, just hanging out all the time. I love the time with my family. But, since I don't want to live in a cardboard box down by the river.... we must work.

We've been working hard this week on last minute summer projects. We are rebuilding our deck; taking out the wood and putting in composite. Brecken has willingly been helping, and it's pretty fun to watch. :)

hair

B is about 6 weeks away from turning 5 years old, and last Thursday, we had a new breakthrough. He finally, finally decided it was OK to have his hair washed.

He's never liked it. Ever. It's always the most miserable part of the bath. Yes, we've tried a hundred different ways: Laying back on his own, laying back on our hand, tipping his head back while sitting up, using only a wash cloth, the special bucket that sits on your forehead while pouring back on your head... you get the picture. It's always a huge scream fest and it's the very last thing we do because he immediately stands up, while crying so hard I'm always sure he's going to fall down, and the bath is over.

However, this past Thursday, for some reason, he decided he would try once again, laying back on my hand. He didn't get any water on his face or in his eyes, and washing his hair was a success. It was so much of a success that we had to call Daddy back to witness it for a second time. And since then, he has asked for his hair to be washed every single day (and I am most happy to oblige!).

SPD is a funny thing. Most people reading this are probably thinking, "Why is washing hair such a big deal? My kid hasn't cried about water in his eyes since he was 10 months old. Just dump the water and be done with it." With an SPD kid, that's not always possible. And imagine our frustration before we knew WHY we couldn't do that!

Now, let's hope this new thing lasts :)

hot, hot, hot

It's been super hot here for the past week or so. I know, it's been nothing like what the midwest and back East have had, but our house does not have air conditioning. So when it gets to 94 degrees outside, it gets to 94 degrees inside. So we've been laying low the past few days, not doing anything too exciting, trying not to sweat to death.

Brecken and Josh have gotten their golfing in, though... B would never let that pass by without happening!

It was a lot cooler today which was a nice change. We woke up to overcast skies and 67 degrees... it felt wonderful! I shot some senior pictures for B's favorite high school babysitter, then we played at the park. I even turned on the oven for dinner tonight since I knew it wouldn't raise the inside temp to 100. :)

July is almost over, which means August is coming up... back to school stuff will be starting. :(

and some more

Last ones, I think... Some stick horse racing in the Whispering Canyon Cafe (where B got all his ketchup!) and B's favorite act in the Festival of the Lion King show... he LOVED the acrobats!

more videos

Here are a couple more... one from Typhoon Lagoon, where he rode this ride about 75 times (and I'm not exaggerating...). The other is from England in Epcot, where they had just made this hopscotch and beings how my B-man LOVES hopscotch, he had to be the first to try it out!

disney videos

I think I might have been successful in uploading a couple videos... If they work, I'll upload more! One of them is from the race track ride at Disney World, where Brecken was driving. I'm glad it was on a rail and we couldn't get too far off, because as you will see, he's a bit distracted in his driving. :) The other is when he wanted some ketchup, and he got plenty!

disney!

I've been absent again! This time with good reason though. We just got back from a WONDERFUL vacation to Disney World. We had a fantastic time and wish it wasn't going to be 3 years before we got to go again!

The first two nights were a bit rough. We stayed at All Star Sports for two nights before my parents came, when we could move to the Beach Club Resort. All Star Sports just happened to be hosting a whole slew of baseball players for a baseball tournament at the Disney sports complex, and they were QUITE loud. The resort was very busy, very loud (in both noise and colors!) and my B-man could not settle down. His SPD kicked in full force, and combine that with the normal kid-excitement, it was not much fun. The first night was full of head banging, rocking back and forth, hitting himself, and me just about in tears and thinking it was mean of us to bring him there. Second night, he had spent 6 hours that day swimming, so he was exhausted, so it was a little bit better.

After we moved to the Beach Club, he settled into a routine and we had a great time! He used his headphones when things got crazy, we used his Guest Assistance Card as needed, we took breaks in the cool restaurants, and we had a TON of fun!

Some things I was surprised about:

*He LOVES characters! He had absolutely NO reservations about running right up to them and giving them huge hugs!



*He is a thrill ride lover! One of his favorite rides was Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, a roller coaster, and by the 3rd time he rode it, he was putting his hands up in the air! :)



Some things that didn't surprise me:
*He didn't eat very well - it was new food, and new atmosphere with lots going on. He didn't starve, but he surely didn't pig out, either. :)

*He doesn't like scary things. Haunted Mansion was not a favorite ride of his. :)