band-aids

Brecken got a cut today that was bleeding.  Yes, it was the most painful thing ever to him.  But today, he ASKED for a band-aid.  Yes, you read that right.  I almost fell over.  He said he figured out while at the doctor this past week that band-aids weren't that bad after all. 

Another HUGE sensory obstacle, overcome!

The bad news was, since he wouldn't wear band-aids before, we had none in the house.  So we made a trip down to the dollar store and he picked some out.  And he wore not one, but two today.

I kind of feel like a "normal" (I hate that word, but you know what I mean) mother, with a kid who is instantly healed of all ailments with a band-aid.

OK, maybe not ALL ailments, but heck - a cut on a finger, a band-aid to make it better, our world is now different!

shots = horrible

Kindergarten shots.  OMG.  Thank goodness it's over and we don't have to do it again until 6th grade.

Dr appointments in general with a sensory kid are miserable.  B had his headphones on from the minute we walked in the door.  He wouldn't let anyone weigh him (he's afraid of the scale).  He wouldn't let anyone see how tall he is.  Luckily my mom and dad have a medicine scale at their house so I weighed him when we were there for Easter.  36.5 pounds - 10th percentile, baby!  The highest he's been since he was born!!!  And you can FORGET about listening to his heart - at one point he was so strong that he was able to push Josh's arm away while Josh was helping hold him down in my lap.  But all that made him sob so hard that he didn't notice the dr. listening on B's back to his heart. :)  No way Jose to the pulse ox machine, and no way was he going to take off his headphones to look in the ears.

There's a reason our appointments always take a full hour.

And then came the shots.  OH MY GOODNESS.  I had him chest to chest on my lap and Josh was holding down the poor kid too - and the scream that came out of that child's mouth when whatever went into his left arm hit - I flinched, it was so loud.  I felt soooo bad for the doctor because his head was right there too.  The nurse did a shot in one arm and then she and the dr. team tagged the next two so they happened at the same time.  Hysterical child. HYSTERICAL.  And then they put on bandaids, which hurt my B-man, and I didn't think to tell them that until he had already ripped them off and thrown them on the floor.  That's how mad he was.

One slurpee and a lay down on a pillow on the couch later, he was much better.  So much better, in fact, that we went to the park after dinner.  He caught a ball and landed on his right arm, and that's when he asked, "Mom, did I get two shots?"  Apparently that left arm one hurt so bad it made him forget about the other two, as he was quite shocked when I told him he had three!

But for real. I'm glad that's done.

a couple firsts

We hope everyone had a great Easter! We headed up to my mom and dad's house for the holiday and a few days afterwards, as we were on Spring Break this past week. We had a fantastic time. We had a couple firsts while we were there... B was able to go to the store and pick out a new outfit, AND he wore it to church on Easter Sunday! Yay, B-man!

His other first was bowling! He had never been bowling before and he had a total blast! He was able to get that 7 pound ball up off the rack and onto the floor and push it down the lane and did an awesome job. He had bumpers up, of course, but he still beat my mom and myself both during the 2nd game!

dual enrolled

We put in our initial application for another agency today. We figured having two agencies out there with our name was better than one. So we did it. The initial upfront fees are much more, but the placement fee is much lower, so it all evens out in the end and the final price for both places are very similar. So we did it. The initial application was online, so depending on how quickly we get the full application, and get the home study completed, we'll be set to go. (They wouldn't take our home study from WCS, even though we just renewed it - apparently the new agency does it differently so we have to start over. :( )

Crossing fingers that maybe this agency will move a little faster...

best concert ever

Remember this from last year?

Tonight was the night of the spring concert. A couple weeks ago, Brecken asked if we could buy new pants for his concert. Ones that weren't sweat pants.

Um, what?

And asked if he could wear a new shirt that he bought from our trip to state basketball.

Um, what?

And his Nikes, WITH SOCKS.

Um, what?

He was so excited for the concert tonight. (he was last year, too... but his brain couldn't handle all the stimuli and we had a meltdown.)

He got home from school, took off his basketball shorts and t-shirt that is too small for him, and put on his concert clothes. A little early, since we didn't have to leave for an hour and a half, but I didn't say anything. I crossed my fingers that he didn't spill pizza sauce all over the shirt so that we didn't have to deal with finding another shirt.

Then I crossed my fingers that we'd make it out the door in the new clothes.

Then I crossed my fingers that he'd go backstage. And my heart was pounding... we had to stay out in the lobby until the teachers called the kids back. The noise grew more and more... and I could feel my B-man shutting down by the second... I tried to tell him jokes to keep his mind off things and make him laugh, while at the same time in my head I was shouting "COME GET THESE KIDS BEFORE MY KID CAN'T HANDLE THE NOISE ANYMORE!" :)

Finally, they called the kids back. No meltdown from noise. Hip, hip, hooray! He clung to my hand, and kind of reluctantly let go, but he did let go and gave me a "Bye, Mommy!"

Then I crossed my fingers that he'd make it on stage.

Josh and I could see little feet under the curtain when it was time for the concert to start and I gave a big sigh of relief to see his bright yellow on his black Nikes cross by.

WHAT A CONCERT! He sang with gusto. He did all his actions, and was the best stick tapper up there. I may or may not have shed a tear or two... or 10, or 50...

SO PROUD of my little man. What a long way he's come in one year.

It truly was the best concert ever.

irish

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

imagination

Brecken's imagination is incredible. And I love seeing what he comes up with and what he has absorbed by observing things that go on - I didn't have any idea he paid that close of attention until he started doing what he does!

His latest thing is basketball games in the house. Yesterday's included a written program with a roster on it - written by himself on a paper towel. He picked 4 other little boys in his preschool class to round out the roster with himself. Josh then had to announce the players and their numbers. When #22, Brecken, was announced (because 22 is the number on his jersey that he has, complete with matching basketball shorts), Brecken takes off his yellow long sleeved shirt that serves as his warm-up. (Because Josh's team also has yellow long sleeved warm-ups.) As he takes it off, he runs to the other part of the living room and pretends to high 5 the imaginary people that make his team that are already out on the "court".

The visiting team, when announced, just has numbers. Because, you know, B doesn't know the kids from the other team. :)

Then he throws the ball up in the air and every time, wins the tip off! :)

Yesterday, after he won 22-2, he went out to the kitchen and messed around for a while. Then he came out, and in his best announcer's voice, announced "If you want to visit our concession stand today, it looks like we are selling fruit snacks!)

Then, he drew numbers for prizes. At Josh's games, they do the same thing. Your number is on your program if you buy one, and if your number is called, you win baked goods. So yesterday, Josh won a cup full of popcorn, rice krispies, and fruit snacks. I won the same thing when my number was called. :)

I love watching him play. He's one amazing kid, for sure!

And on a side note, today I had a random day off school. I told Brecken that last week, thinking he'd be excited to stay home with me. Instead, I heard, "Oh man! Brian is going to be at Kacey's house on Monday! Can I please still go to Kacey's instead of stay home with you?" I didn't know if I should have hurt feelings or not. :) I am super glad he loves Kacey so much though, and I'm so glad he has a best buddy this year. So this morning, off he went. And I got to clean my closet by myself. :)

home study renewal

So yesterday we drove over to get our home study renewed. Our new lady, Pat, is the director of the domestic adoptions, so I like that she will know things.

Anyway, she was really nice and we only had to update a few little things. She told us straight out that this wouldn't take long an that we didn't need to drive all the way to see her, but I told her that we really wanted her to know who we were, instead of being just names on a list. She said that was smart of us, so I'm glad we made that decision.

As of now, there's about 20 people on the wait list, an there are 2 or 3 that have waited longer than us. Our book has been shown a lot, but most people lately have been choosing couples that don't have kids already. So we'll just wait until someone wants us that wants a big brother for their baby!

We talked more about us being able to pay for some medical expenses for a birth mom... we had said before that we'd take it on a case by case basis since we are not rich. She said most birth moms they have qualify for Title 19 (I think?) help but some don't, and can't afford the birth of the baby. I asked what happened if we agreed to help pay for that and the mom change her mind. She said then we don't pay a dime. We pay the agency, not the mom or the hospital, so that made me feel a bit better about maybe helping out with that. I don't WANT to, but if that opens us up to some more birth moms, then that's what we'll do. I got the feeling that if we gave them a number of what we could help with, that would open us up to being shown to ladies that need help. If we just said "case by case" or "no", we wouldn't even be shown to those people.

On the way home, it was dark, and I saw a shooting star. I'm taking that as a good omen.

love

My B-man always promises me that he will always tell me he loves me, even when he's 14. Tonight I asked if I could make a "movie" of him saying that, so I have proof for later. So we did. I'll try to figure out how to add this movie into this blog, but I do want to type out the conversation, too. (So when I put this blog into a book, I'll still have record of it. :) )

Me: Are you always going to love me?
B: I'm always going to love you.
Me: Always always?
B: Yes!
Me: And when you're 14, will you let me give you a hug in front of your friends?
B: Yes.
Me: And give you a kiss on the cheek?
B: Yes.
Me: Always?
B: Yes.
Me: Promise?
B: Yes!

He then had to make a movie of me promising the same stuff. Only, the conversation was a bit different:

B: Mom, are you always going to love me?
Me: I'm always going to love you.
B: Even when I'm 20?
Me: Even when you're 20, I'm going to love you.
B: Even if I make friends, you'll love me?
Me, trying not to laugh: Even if you make friends, buddy, I'm always going to love you.

Our hearts are full of love. :)

I've been terrible about blogging lately. I used to do 1-2 posts a week, and lately has slowed to 1-2 times a month. I feel like I have nothing new to blog about, yet we've been extremely busy. I think the busy has just been what we do every day, so it's nothing "new", and we've gotten so used to it that it's not exciting anymore. If that makes any sense.

Basketball season is about to wind down. Senior night is on Tuesday. I hate senior night. I hate saying goodbye to the seniors I've watched grow and learn and change for the past 4 years. Especially this year's seniors. I feel like I've gotten quite attached to them, even though I don't interact with them very often. I always hate their last home game, because I want them to be able to stay for forever. I know, however, that they need to move on and grow their wings even more in college... but I wish I could be selfish and keep them. :)

Brecken and I made rice krispy treats for the boys on Josh's team today. He decorated them with frosting smiley faces, too. He loves those boys even more than I do. I am so lucky that Josh's kids embrace B as "one of the team". They are so nice to him - always greeting him when he comes to practice, always looking out for him ("heads up, Brecken - ball coming!"), always have a smile or a high 5 for him... what great kids.

We're finally getting some snow today. It's been snowing for the past couple hours now. Hope it keeps up. As much as I complain about the snow, we haven't had any of any significance yet this year, and I fear a drought this summer!

change is a'comin'

Some of our teacher friends had a baby last week. Last Sunday at church, we pulled up and saw their car and I was sad for them - I knew how badly the mom wanted to have the baby that weekend - in fact, she had had a doctor's appointment the Friday before and she was really hoping they'd just keep her there. So I told her I was kind of sad to see her at church, and she said it was OK, because there was an end in sight - they were going to induce her that coming Wednesday. She said she was done working, and that she was going to keep her 2 year old home too, and spend time just the two of them, because it would never be that way again.

And then it hit me. Any night we have, could, in theory, be the last night we have as a family of 3. We might get a call one day to come get our baby, without warning, and *POOF*, our family of 3 is gone. Now, don't get me wrong, that's what we're hoping and praying for. But at the same time, it's going to be a huge adjustment to become a family of 4.

One one hand, I hope it does turn out that way, because I'm the sort that would dwell for weeks, knowing the day was coming, and turn it into a sob fest of "9 more days of just me and my B-man"... and not enjoy any of it. If it just happens, it's done and over with and I don't have time to dwell and be sad. (AND REALLY - It's what we're hoping and praying for - but any of you parents of more than one child know what I mean! Change can be hard. Especially since we've been a family of 3 for over 5 years now! But trust me when I say that yes, we are very, very excited.)

On the other hand, I really want to enjoy the last days of us being a family of 3. Quality time. Special time. Time we won't be able to go back to once our baby is here with us.

I guess we'll treat each day as our "last day" of being a family of 3. It will be special. It will be bonding. It will be memory making. And if our baby doesn't find us for another year, we'll have a year full of great times. As a family of 3.

locker room

We have quite the athlete in the family. Brecken will take a basketball and play a game in the house, all day long. It's fantastic. He's usually the Panthers, and he plays a different team every time. The other day, he was playing the Lions. He would run around the house dribbling, shooting, and shouting, "SCORE!"

Then he disappeared into the bathroom for about 5 minutes. We never heard a flush, so when he came out, Josh asked him what he was doing in there. The answer?

"That's my locker room and it was halftime."

Duh.

:)

i suck.

Here it is, January 20, 2012, and it's the first blog of the year. Wow. I suck at blogging this year.

In my defense, holy moly has time flown. We've been so busy. Basketball is in full swing. We had homecoming at my school and that was a nutso week. I left this past Sunday for our state music conference and got home Wednesday afternoon, just in time to have to go to school for P/T Conferences all evening. Repeat the next night. Last night - migraine city. Started right before bed. I went to sleep, as that usually helps a lot. Enter waking up because of pain. Take some meds. Fall asleep. Wake up again. Put pain patch on shoulder/neck as those muscles are on fire because of the migraine. Fall asleep. Rinse and repeat. All.night.long. Wake up with migraine still this morning. Thank goodness we didn't have school today!!

My boy and I got to snuggle all day today. I loved that. I missed him this week - from Sunday afternoon until this morning, I saw him for a total of 40 waking minutes. I don't like that! So today was a planned snuggle day anyway, and because I wasn't feeling well, it was really a snuggle day! We were lazy and loved every minute of it. I was feeling better by this afternoon finally, so he and I went to my school to watch some junior high girls basketball action. Then came home and ate pizza. Fun date night with my boy while Daddy was at an away game.

Up for tomorrow: We get to go see Daddy's game! Wahoo!

2011

What a year!

* We completed a home study for Wyoming Children's Society. That included 3 sets of interviews with a social worker, a home inspection, letters of reference, fingerprinting, background checks through the Wyoming Department of Criminal Investigations, several tears, and a lot of money.

* Josh and I had our 7th anniversary. It's been a wonderful 7 years!

* We took Brecken to his first pro baseball game, the Colorado Rockies!

* We went to Disney World with my whole family and had a fantastic time.

*Brecken started his last year of preschool; something that is very bittersweet to me!

*Brecken turned 5 years old. That was hard. That means he really is a big boy instead of a little boy.

* We took Brecken to his first UW football game, where the Cowboys played Nebraska.

*Josh landed himself a new position in our school district, as the District Science Facilitator. He really enjoys it!

* Josh's football team went to the playoffs for the first time in 4 years!

* We celebrated Christmas at Thanksgiving with Josh's family, something I've never done, but worked out very nicely since everyone was home!

* We had two new nieces born - Brenna Allie and Cameron Cate.

* Josh finished his principal endorsement! He worked so hard and we're very proud of him.

* We flew to Minnesota for Christmas at my sister's. We've never been there for Christmas and it was fun!

leaving on a jet plane

That song goes through my head every time we travel!

We had a fantastic Christmas. The whole family went to Minnesota to my sister's house. I wondered if we were going to make it... Wed the 21st is when we got out of school so we headed to the airport that night. Right in the middle of a storm. It took a good 5 hours to get to Denver but we made it. We stayed the night at a hotel since our plane left at 7:00 the next morning.

The next morning, it was still snowing. Hard. However, we still were able to get out of town after an hour delay so we could get de-iced for 45 minutes! That's some serious de-icing! We made it to Minneapolis and we're glad we did... we heard the Denver Airport was canceling flights after we left!

That afternoon, my sister took B and I to get Josh's present from B. B had put a lot of thought into it and bought him a purple shirt (school color) and a t-shirt to wear to basketball practice. I thought that was a very thoughtful gift!

My nephew Ryan had school on the 22nd still, so Brecken and my mom and I surprised him at the bus stop after school. He was so surprised!

That night we got to hang out as a family... my sister, my BIL, my nieces and nephew (including the new 8 week old that we got to meet for the first time!), my mom, my dad, and my grandma. I love that.

The 23rd was a fantastic day! My sister had found a babysitter to stay with the kids and we adults (and the baby) went out to breakfast at the wonderful Machine Shed restaurant. YUM-O. Afterwards, we had a whole day of adult shopping at the Mall of America! NO KIDS to haul around and have hollering "Can I have that?!" :) It was a great day and we had a lot of fun. That night, Brecken had asked if he could cook dinner for everyone, so he (we) did! I thought that was awesome that he requested to cook one of his favorite meals for everyone.

Christmas Eve was busy with cooking and baking and playing. And Kristen and David dealing with plumbing problems. The drains were all backing up due to a clog somewhere. It turned from the shower drain throwing up to it spilling over any time the water ran anywhere in the house... so the plumber was called and my dad stayed home during church to let them in so we could use the water when we got back. :) We got dressed up for church that afternoon and I almost cried when my boy wore brown cords and a red sweater. He looked so incredibly handsome. Granted, he took it off IMMEDIATELY when we got home, but he made it through church! We came home and had a delicious dinner of pork ribs. The kids got to open one present that night - Christmas jammies - before filling up a cup of milk, some treats, and reindeer food before we all went to bed.

Christmas was amazing! Santa brought B a Buzz Lightyear bed tent, a REAL digital camera, a Cars placemat, Cars 2 movie, Cars Wii game, and a Veggietales movie. We all got spoiled with lots of fantastic presents and everyone had a great time!

The 26th, Josh had to come home so he could get ready for a tournament his team went to. We went to the Mall of America that afternoon again and Josh rode the shuttle from the mall to the airport while the rest of us went to dinner for my dad's birthday. There was a huge fight that broke out right where we had JUST walked through... people arrested, 200 teens involved, the mall on lock down for a bit... I'm very glad we didn't know it was happening since we had JUST gotten upstairs for dinner!

The 27th, the kids stayed home again and my mom, my sister, my grandma, the baby, and I went to Stillwater for some shopping. What fun stores they had there! We went to an olive oil store... that's all they sell is olive oil! I brought Josh some garlic EVOO from that store. We also found a fantastic kitchen store, and some really fun boutiques. Great day again!

The 28th B and I flew home. I always hate saying goodbye to my nieces and nephew... I don't know when we'll see them again and they'll change so much while we're gone! :( Brecken had an amazing time playing with them.

Thanks for having us, Kristen! It was a super fun Christmas, that's for sure!

the house

My B-man made a gingerbread house at school this week. It looked good enough to eat. Which he did. AFTER I got to take pictures. :)

the tree

We didn't get to go to the mountains for a tree last year. Josh had basketball on Saturdays and the one Sunday we could have gone, he had a class out of town. I was so sad. We had to buy a tree instead. It just wan't the same and I was so hoping we would get to get back to the mountain this year.

And we made it! We got our annual B-with-daddy and B-with-mommy pictures (since there has only been one year when there was someone else with us, to take a family picture!) and had a fantastic time. The last time we went, B was three, and he cried the whole time. This year, he took the idea and ran with it. He insisted HE pick out the tree. (Though, that didn't quite happen.) He insisted HE be the line leader through the snow that was hip high on him in spots. He insisted on playing hard in it, despite the fact his mittens were wet and cold. He had a total blast.

And when we got it all decorated (again, he insisted HE put on all the ornaments, or at least point to a branch that may have been to high for him), I asked if he loved it. He said, "Not exactly." One more ornament and it was much better, ready to be loved for the month.

so behind

I'm so far behind in blogging. I'm so sorry. I have a lot to talk about but it seems like there's no time to write it down!

So I can come back to it later and remember, and so you know that yes, I have been busy, here's what I still need to tell you:

* Went to District Clinic with my kids for two days before Thanksgiving
* Came home to sleep in my bed for one night
* Went to Josh's parents' house for Thanksgiving.
* Everyone was home and we managed to find time to have Christmas then, too
* Went on a Black Friday middle of the night adventure with my MIL and one of my SIL's.
* Stayed a day late and came home yesterday so Josh could have a dr. appointment and I got to eat out for my birthday... a rare treat with basketball season in session now!
* Christmas programs are coming up!
* Josh's first games of the season are this weekend!

i'm sick and tired....

....of being sick and tired.

I've had a cold for two weeks now. They don't usually last this long, but I was thanking my lucky stars that it didn't happen sooner in the school year... It usually hits me much sooner than this!

And then I was cursing my stars that it happened when it did. I was in desperate need of finishing the teaching of my Christmas program songs so we can spend the next few weeks trying out for solos and polishing stuff up! And of course, I COMPLETELY lost my voice. Couldn't sing a single note for a good week.

And then my face hurt. Pretty bad. I was hoping it was just the cold working its way through my sinuses, but then one day, I started walking and that alone made my teeth feel like a hammer hitting them.

So a visit to the school nurse ensued. I told her my suspicions and she agreed: CALL THE DOCTOR.

I got in on Thursday afternoon this week and I was sooo excited to go. How sad is that? But I was feeling so awful. Diagnosis: My very first sinus infection ever. Lucky me.

I was hoping the antibiotics would work miracles and I'd feel better the next day, but no such luck. I did feel better yesterday, but all that meant was it didn't feel like my face was going to shatter into a million pieces.

I'm hoping I can get a great night's sleep tonight. Brecken was up bright and early this morning so that meant we all were too. And I felt terrible all morning. I did get a couple hour nap this afternoon though and I feel much better this evening. So hopefully I can get good sleep tonight, as I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon with some students for a trip to Cheyenne for a couple days for an honor choir and band clinic. I keep thinking back to 7 years ago, this SAME exact trip, and I came down with an allergic reaction to some antibiotic I was on, for something I can't even remember. But we got to Cheyenne on the bus and I broke out in head to toe hives so bad that someone asked how I had gotten so sunburned. I was hallucinating by the time we got home the next day. My teacher friend found a car and took me to Urgent Care where they diagnosed me with an allergy to sulfa drugs.

I'd rather not repeat that experience this year. :)

trucking along

We're trucking along here, at about a hundred miles an hour! Josh's football season is now over and it came just in time... I worked 12 hour days every day last week so it was nice to have Josh home because I'm not sure what we would have done with Brecken!

Monday was Halloween. I raced home from school and we took Brecken trick-or-treating downtown. Then we went home to scarf down some grilled cheese sandwhiches before heading to my school's Halloween Carnival. Brecken had a great time playing all the games! He did a great job. He didn't want to wear his costume, but he managed to do 40 minutes of the carnival without his headphones! He started to get hyper at the end of his time there, which for him, shows sensory stuff (that's how his body handles sensory overload), but he did a great job otherwise! He came home with lots of prizes, including a goldfish. He named him Goldie, but unfortunately, Goldie only lived until Thursday. I'm very glad I explained beforehand to Brecken that goldfish don't live a very long time, because it wasn't nearly as sad this time as when his beta died.

Josh and Brecken left the carnival early to come home and trick-or-treat. Brecken had written out a list of houses he wanted to go to, so of course, we had to fulfill the list!

Tuesday I had to take my kids to audition for all-state and didn't get home until 7:00, in the middle of a blizzard.

Wednesday and Thursday nights were parent-teacher conferences.

Friday, thankfully, was an early out for me! Hip, hip, hooray! We loaded up the car and went to see our new niece. She had turned a month old and we had yet to meet her. So we went to see them for the weekend. She's a beauty, that's for sure! Brecken had a great time playing with his cousin Bryell and holding baby Brenna. He's very proud of himself that he got Brenna to go to sleep. :)

Today I'm home with a sick little boy. We've been up with his sick since 6:00 and it's hard to believe it's only 8:00 now... seems we've been awake for many more hours!