minnesota

B and I went to Minnesota for a super quick trip. I got to take pictures of my brother-in-law's family, which was fun! B and I also got to attend my nephew's 5th birthday party. B was so excited to get to go to that. :)

B was such an amazing traveler for me. He walked right next to me through the airport, and never batted an eye about the no car seat thing I was worried about. He giggled the whole flight to MN and slept the whole way back. :)

I was amazed at the growth I saw in B while we were there. He volunteered to go with Uncle David to a video game store, rather than with me to Kohl's. Didn't even bat an eye while getting out of the car. At the party, he sat at the kid's table with excitement, and didn't even need to make sure he knew where I was. And all evening long, played with the kids without needing me to be in sight. ALL of these things are new developments. And I loved it! He was a KID, not a terrified little being. Love it.

travelers

My B-man and I are headed out on a very quick vacation tomorrow. We're flying to Minnesota to see my sister and go to my nephew's birthday part. I am also going to be taking family photos for my brother-in-law's whole family - they're going to be together for the first time in three years, I think I heard. We'll only be there for two full days but it will be fun! I'm sad Josh can't come. He has class this weekend so he won't be able to make it. :(

I'm a little nervous about the plane ride. I am not going to be bringing B's car seat, which we always have before. He feels safer in it, but as I'm traveling by myself and will be bringing our new stroller home with me, I just can't manage a kid, a stroller, our carry-ons, a suitcase, AND the car seat. He doesn't need a car seat for the plane, we've just always brought it to help him adjust to the plane better. (we'll be borrowing one of my sister's while we are in MN.) Remember, change of routine is very hard for B, and he likes feeling safe, so this might be an interesting flight. It'll get us practiced up for when we go to Disney World (two weeks from today!!!! yay!) though, as we aren't bring the car seat on that trip, either.

Cross your fingers and if you're the praying type, some prayers for safe travels would always be nice. :)

Ciao!

there was a baby in my belly

Last night we were watching House Hunters and the couple had six children. Three boys, and then three Chinese girls. I said, "look, they adopted a lot of kids!" Brecken then said, "You're going to adopt two!" I told him probably not, one was enough. He said, "No, I was one, and then we're getting another baby!"

We asked him if he thought he was adopted too, and he looked at me like it was obvious, and said, "Yes, mom!" I always wondered if B thought that's the way all babies came about. I love that it's so natural to him. But we corrected him and said that he grew inside my belly. And that my belly can't grow any more babies, so that's why some wonderful woman is going to grow one in her belly but let us adopt it for our own.

I then was telling him where his head liked to hang out while he was growing inside my belly. I showed him where it was (under my right ribs!) and how it would stick out and I'd have to push it back in, and how he liked to head-butt my ribs and how much that hurt, and he giggled and giggled and giggled.

And then while I was laying in bed last night, recalling the conversation, I remembered something I haven't thought about for a long time. As a mother growing a baby, you become incredibly intimate with their movements. Brecken used to do a stretch all the time and I can still feel what that felt like. And when I saw him do it for the first time OUTSIDE my belly, I got goosebumps because it was the EXACT same stretch he did inside. And now, I was able to see what it actually looked like. He would do it in his sleep, and his eyebrows would raise so high that I thought for sure his eyes had to open because his eyelids wouldn't stretch any more. They never did open though! And with his eyebrows raised, he'd pick up his chin and stretch his head up and back as much as he could, then he'd settle back down. It was amazing to see that happen, because I knew that stretch by feel so well. He would do it multiple times a day in my belly (which is odd since he never seemed to sleep! haha!) and he would do it multiple times a day when he was born. He still does it every once in a while, even at four years old.

It makes me incredibly sad to know that I probably won't know my next baby's movements so intimately. I will probably be missing out on that nine months of bonding time. B will probably be missing out on getting to feel a baby move in my belly. These parts still brings me to tears sometimes.

But. That new baby is going to bring us so much joy, even if I do miss out on those 40 incredible weeks. I hope it happens soon, because I have one excited little boy ready to be a big brother. :)

golf on the brain

Our child has golf on the brain. Big time. Every day he asks if we can go golfing! He got to play in his first golf tournament last week; we had our annual school district golf scramble and he got to play with us. He even sunk a putt for us to save par on one of the holes! His grin was a mile wide when we all started cheering loudly. :)

seven years

Josh and I celebrated our 7th anniversary yesterday. What a wonderful 7 years it has been! We've been on many adventures, many of which I'd never have been able to dream up on my wedding day 7 years ago, and I am so glad it was Josh that was by my side during them all.

B is getting to the age now where he understands more of what "anniversary" means. He told me on Saturday, "I think I know when you and Daddy got married." I said, "Oh yeah?" to which he replied, "Yep. It was when you left me at Grandma and Grandpa's." haha!

B got to spend yesterday evening with his favorite high school girl, eating pizza and playing Wii. He had been asking since yesterday morning how many more minutes until she came. Such a change from a couple years ago, when she'd have to distract him and we'd make a run for it! Josh and I enjoyed dinner and a dip in the hot pools - the actual hot ones and not the warm huge pool - since we were by ourselves for a change! :)

summertime, summertime, sum- sum- summertime

School officially ended for B-man and myself on Wednesday!! Josh has another week and it's kind of nice being in bed still while he gets up for work. :)

B had his preschool picnic yesterday. He had asked Josh if he could "please sneak out of work for a little bit" to come. And he did! B had fun playing with everyone, but then we had to eat lunch in the truck so the 40 mph wind wouldn't blow the chicken off our plates!

B then went back to school with Josh so I could go back to my school for meetings all afternoon. Literally, ALL AFTERNOON. First day of summer and my meetings lasted until 5:00! I made it home just in time to go to Josh's awards banquet, then brought B home before it ended and we both went to bed!

Now I'm wishing for some summer weather since it's summer vacation... it hasn't hit here yet and I'm wondering how long it will be until we can wear shorts outside and not freeze to death. :)

high as the sky

I had another proud SPD mommy moment last night:

We took a bike ride to the park last night before bedtime came. Brecken wanted to swing, which is a new thing recently. Josh put him in the baby-type swing because the other swings at the park are really big. Josh pushed Brecken higher and higher and was doing underdogs even. Brecken was swinging so high! And he was laughing so hard he was having a hard time breathing. (thank goodness he was in the baby-type swing!)

This time last year, the thought of just getting on the swing was enough to just about put Brecken in tears.

And instead of crying last night, he was laughing his sweet, beautiful laugh.

More heart swelling. :)

miracles

Brecken was so proud of his Mother's Day present he made me at school. When he brought them home last week, he even "hid" them so I had to go on a scavenger hunt of sorts to find them. (The card was laying on the side table and the flowers were on my chair!) He planted these flowers by himself. He told me they were Miracles (otherwise known as Marigolds). I thought that was especially fitting, since Brecken really is my own little miracle baby.

mother's day

I posted this on facebook this morning:

I am a sister and a daughter and a friend, but the title I am most proud of is MOMMY. It's even more sweet because of the struggle it took to get there. My little boy is the most perfect one in the world and I still get teary while thinking of my fight for him. Remembering all those moms-to-be who are still fighting that fight today.

I am beyond grateful to be able to celebrate Mother's Day. I know all too well the utter sadness that happens when someone wants to be a mother so bad but it just isn't happening. I'm keeping all my friends who are still fighting the fight in my prayers today, so that this might be their last Mother's Day with an empty lap.

On to something happier - my own Mother's Day today. What a great day we've had so far! I got breakfast in bed this morning, made by Brecken all by himself: a bowl of Cheerios and Fruity Pebbles mixed together by hand! I love that boy!

Then we all got dressed and went out back to take some pictures. Brecken refused to wear his plain white t-shirt because it's not one of his "regulars". So what did he do? He took a shirt that he's OK wearing, and wore it backwards so that it was only white on the front. That was his very own idea. And who am I to tell him no?

Then, we went on our first bike ride as a family. I realized that this summer I wasn't going to be able to push a stroller and walk fast for excercise, since strollers are no longer cool when you have a big boy bike. Going for walks was going to change - mainly in the pace we were going to be able to go! So for Mother's Day and Father's Day (yes, a little early), we bought Josh and I bikes. Now we are able to go on bike rides together! I haven't been on a bike in YEARS. I was quite proud of myself for remembering how. :)

For lunch, I got steaks from the BBQ and a salad.

Then Brecken and I made cookies.

Then we all went on another bike ride.

Then we came home and I ate cookies with cream poured over them. Because I can. :)

In a little bit, we are going to see the musical that our high school kids are putting on. I have 7 kids in it and Josh has a lot, too. So we're going to go see the matinee of it this afternoon.

Then come home and watch the finale of "The Amazing Race".

BESIDES all this.... it is so nice outside and I heard the first lawnmower of the season.

What could get better than this?!

it's totally ok for a grownup to go to bed at 7:30, right?

I can't remember the last time I didn't post for two whole weeks. Wow. I can't even really remember those two weeks happening, as I have been so dang busy! And it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. I have at least one thing (and sometimes two things or three things) happening every day until the end of school. I've had my district music festival, giving the ACT test at school, meetings upon meetings, two concerts coming up, more meetings, Josh being gone for classes, and today I got asked to be on the hiring committee for a new elementary teacher for next year. This is among other things that I can't remember right now, I'm sure. Thank goodness for my planner, that's all I've got to say!

Because of all this, I'm totally exhausted. Hence the two weeks between now and my last post. :( Josh and I were both asleep by 9:30 on a Friday night last week, and tonight I'm totally contemplating going to bed at the same time as Brecken does tonight. How funny is that- a 31 year old going to bed at 7:30!?

On a good note, I ran into one of Brecken's teachers tonight and she told me how nice Brecken is. Not just to a few people, to EVERYONE. She said she has never heard him say a mean word to ANYONE. I love that. I told him that makes me so proud of him. And it does. Could my heart swell any more?!

who are you and what did you do with my son??

Tonight, Brecken ASKED for a hair cut.

And instead of crying and being scared, he chatted with his daddy while it was happening.

And then I heard an explosion of GIGGLES because it tickled.

It TICKLED, it didn't "hurt".

My heart swelled. A hair cut has never happened like this before.

No wonder his OT is so proud of him. :)

play date

I went to pick up Brecken today and our babysitter, Val, had quite a story to tell me! I guess B's friend D asked if he and another friend, A, could go to D's house for a play date. (His very first "can Brecken come over and play"!!!!) Val asked B if he wanted to and he jumped at the chance. I think he hurt Val's feelings a little bit, that he didn't want to go home with her! Ha, ha!! She said she kept calling to check on him (she is friends with D's mom) and he had a great time. B told me all about how they played Mario and golf on the Wii (his most favorite games EVER!) and he even ate a whole grilled cheese sandwich! I'm amazed. TOTALLY amazed. This is quite a change in his routine that he craves, not to mention going out of his comfort zone which is soooo strong for him, and he did it. Willingly, and did great. I'm so proud. :)

going bananas

My sister got Brecken a "Grow Your Own Banana Tree" kit for Christmas this past year. It grows in a little plastic greenhouse indoors and then you can transplant it outside. Beings how we get snow a good 8-9 months out of the year, if this tree grows, we will be keeping the plant inside. :) We finally planted it yesterday. I've been putting it off because I was so afraid the draft from our big kitchen window, where it sits on the sill, would kill it this winter.

Brecken is beyond excited to see it grow. I sure hope it will sprout something so he's not disappointed! (hmm... I have an almost identical post HERE... complete with the same looking greenhouse!)

headphones

He must like them - we went to dinner last night with my parents. We went to a new restaurant, one we haven't been to before. He wanted carried in once we got to the door. (That's an SPD thing.) Then we got seated and he pulled the headphones out of my purse and put them on. It wasn't that noisy inside, but I quickly figured out that helped him focus for a few minutes so that he could feel safe. After about 5 minutes of wearing them, he took them off and was fine for the rest of the meal. (ate like a horse, even!)

Hooray!

so much noise

I've noticed an increasing irritation to noise in Brecken lately. Shortly after his concert night was Prom night. We went up to see the Grand March, where everyone shows off their fancy clothes. We had to leave before it even started because 100 different people, 100 different conversations at the same time made Brecken tell me it was way to noisy and he needed to leave. And yesterday at Wal-mart. Two different times his hands flew up to his ears and he started wimpering about the noise level. One time was from a populated area of the store where there were a lot of people talking. The other time was when a squeaky cart came behind us. We had to stop and let it pass so Brecken's eyes could not be so wide and his hands could come off his ears. I feel bad for my boy. And I'm not sure why the increase in noise-related irritations all of a sudden. I'll have to talk to his OT about it after Spring Break. I'm on the lookout for some cord-free headphones for him to wear in instances like this. And especially for when we go to Disney World, where there is a LOT of noise to overrun his senses. Hopefully we can find some that will work for him. I'm in the process of doing some research on different SPD sites! If anyone here has some suggestions, I'll be glad to entertain them! edited to add: I have no idea why this won't put proper paragraphs in when I hit "publish". Sorry it's so annoying to read.

SPD at it's finest

Brecken had his very first school concert tonight. He has been so excited about it for weeks. He's been practicing his songs at home. We have been talking about what to wear for a long time now (since clothes are a big deal to him) and had an outfit all picked out. They practiced on the stage with the lights today during school so they all knew what to expect and he was glad for that.

Tonight we get ready. We brushed him first. Then he puts on the pants and that's OK. (they're "dressy" pants lined with cotton like sweat pants.) He gets on his new shoes. Has a freak out. The tongue was touching his ankle and wouldn't stay away. So he ended up wearing Crocs.

We get out his polo shirt he was going to wear. Couldn't even get it near him. Nope, not going to happen. We finally get him in a long sleeved T-shirt even though he doesn't want to wear it.

We get there and he freaks. Clung to me hard. Wouldn't let me put him down. I had to hand him off to his teacher bawling. Broke my heart, but sometimes after I'm out of sight, he calms down.

Nope. Teacher came to get me to come get him. He refused to go out on stage. So he sat with Josh and I and watched his classmates. After every song, I asked if he wanted to go up there and I'd stay right in front so he could see me at all times. Nope, he couldn't do it.

So we just got home and he changed clothes immediately and then crawled up on my lap. He said, "Mommy, I really wanted to sing, I just couldn't do it. It made my brain hurt." Totally breaks my heart and I'm trying not to let him see me cry. I feel soooo bad that he was so excited and then his little brain just couldn't get over all the sensory stuff surrounding him. He was the only kid that couldn't do it.


At least he wore the pants, right?

:(

wonderfully lazy

What a wonderfully lazy day we've had today. We slept in (well, Josh and I did... Brecken woke up at his normal weekday time but was content snuggling in with us and watching cartoons...), ate a late breakfast, got to play outside for a while before we got too cold (but heck- we had to take advantage of the fact that there was no snow today!), watched more cartoons, wrestled downstairs, watched more cartoons, decided to finally get dressed mid-afternoon, made a cherry pie, and that's about it. I'm sure there will be more cartoons to finish out the day.

Ahhh... I love lazy days. Especially when we are all together as a family. Love that!

trip to australia

I found this today, and it totally hit home.


Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You’ve heard it’s a wonderful place; you’ve read many guidebooks and feel certain that you’re ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip. So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there’s no seat for you; you’ll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait---and wait---and wait. Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, “Relax. You’ll get on a flight soon.” Other people actually get on the plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, “It’s not fair!” After a long time, the ticket agent tells you, “I’m sorry, we’re not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat.” “By BOAT!” you say. “Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane.” So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than by air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat. It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip. Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air. People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, “Oh, be glad you didn’t fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy.” You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not the way you get there, but in the place itself.

Author Unknown

he's gonna be awesome

I talked to B's speech teacher while she was at my school today. She said, "I hear congratulations are in order!" I asked why, and she said that Brecken had told her we were getting a new baby. She asked him (knowing my history of infertility) if his mommy was pregnant or if we were adopting, and he proudly told her we were adopting. And that he hoped he got a little brother.

I love that boy.

I didn't even know he was telling people - ha! I don't mind at all - I just didn't realize just HOW excited he was, that he was telling his teachers! I'm now wondering how many people around town are hearing a rumor about me having a baby... :)

She said he's going to be an awesome big brother because he's so gentle and kind. Josh and I knew that already, but it's always nice to hear it from someone else. :) She thanked me for having such a wonderful child.

My heart burst with pride. :)

the imagination

My son has the best imagination. He came up with the best stories this afternoon.

It all started with him telling me that the girls' game was done, (the girls lost, apparently... 21-7) so he had to go now because it was his turn. He got his basketball and went all over the house dribbling it and playing a game. They were playing "mommy's school's team". B's team (the Pan.thers, of course) kicked the snot out of them, 91-10. :)

Then he had to play another team. They played a team we watched this weekend at State Basketball. A very, very good team. This team has one particular player that may or may not have scored 51 points by himself when they played Josh's team this year. Brecken found a medal that Josh had, and awarded it to himself after the "game" was over because he did so well at blocking this player's 3-point shots. He even named him by name (but I'm not going to post it here so it can't be found in a google search!).

He did this all afternoon. I love the imagination he has!