roommates

B has been soooo good at sleeping lately.  We go in his room, tuck him in, read a story, and leave and he goes right to sleep.

Until Thanksgiving.

He turned into this boy who wouldn't go in his room alone for anything.  Kind of like 4 years ago when his sensory stuff started showing up, only we didn't know it was sensory stuff.  The week of Thanksgiving, he would scream and cry and was utterly terrified at the thought of sleeping in there.  He ended up sleeping on his floor, as close as he could to the door, which is as close as he could get to us.

I finally got out of him one morning that he was so afraid someone was going to break in the house and steal him.  The thought of him thinking that breaks my heart.  We talked about how it wouldn't be easy to break in.  Our doors lock, our windows are all locked, our dogs sleep in the hallway where the bedrooms are and there's no way they'd let anyone through, etc.  And for every one of those reasons why a break in wouldn't happen, he had a reason why that might not be true.  "They could be so quiete the dogs don't hear."  "They could use a hammer to break the window."  "We might not hear someone use a hammer if they tapped on it light, but for a long time."

I asked him if they had talked about strangers at school before Thanksgiving, and he replied no, but that he heard about a girl on the computer.  He could explain enough to me that I knew he was talking about when that girl from Colorado and the girl from 4 hours from us in the other direction were both kidnapped.  We had talked to him at that time about strangers and what to do if someone asked him to help find their puppy in their car, or took him, or whatever.  He seemed fine at the time, but I guess he was internalizing it and just couldn't keep it in anymore, and it came out full force.

That's when he asked if he could sleep on the floor in b's room.  Not to protect his baby brother, but we really think he needs that companionship.  He's a boy that was made for companionship.  So they became roommates.

I feel awful.  It got bad enough for him that the Monday we all went back to school, J contacted the school counselor to get advice, mentioning the fact that B's fears are 10-fold to other kids because of his SPD.  The counselor helped us by letting us know what we were doing was spot on - letting him sleep in b's room if that is what makes him feel better, not making him feel his fears are silly (because they aren't - they're very, very real, and by no means a stall tactic), and if he needs US, that's OK.  Because he'll feel safer that way, and that will help him get over his fears.  If we don't make him feel safe, he'll never get over this.  He also pulled B out of kindergarten that afternoon to talk to him and help him feel better about things. 

Bedtime has been better since then - he's on the floor in b's room, with all his blankets, (and if you've seen the nursery, you're probably wondering where we are fitting everything... we are still wondering the same thing, ha!) with some soft music playing to keep his mind off the dark, the lamp on, me staying for a few minutes so he knows I'm still here... and we've gone from screaming and crying for over an hour to asleep in 10 minutes again.  We'll see how long the roommate thing lasts - perhaps until little b is ready to convert to bunkbeds.  :)  But that's OK.  He's safe.  He FEELS safer.  And he needs that companionship.  He and little b are soulmates, I'm sure of it.

But I still wish I could take away his awful fears. :(